To Understand
by Nora Elric
Summary: Belladonna Louise lived in a world where titans roamed. She had been part of a small clan that lived among the roots of a gigantic tree! They thought they were safe, until the fateful day when her life was literally uprooted. With her family dead, she makes an escape. Lost and afraid, she is discovered by the Scout regiment. She is saved and that is when the real story begins.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

"Belladonna Louise. That's me!" I wave to the watchful eyes. I was smiling wide, not feeling hindered by the stranger's gazes. After all, I had asked to share my story. "I must say that it will be a pleasure sharing my story with all of you! " I smile cheekily, tilting my head with raised shoulders and my hands clasped behind my back. My long brown curls cascaded off my shoulders at the movement. "It may be a little choppy because I am doing my best to remember everything, but I have a very poor memory so just bear with me! I hope you all enjoy!" With that I straightened and waved. Sending one last smile to you all, I waltz off.

Fear. That is the one emotion I lived with every moment of my life, and at this present moment it was stronger than it had ever been. I had felt fear as my mother brought my brother into this world, and I had felt fear for his safety every second since. Except this time it was a terrifying fear for my own life. Looking back now, I would give anything to go back to the easy life of fretting over my brother.

I was dashing through the forest, running as fast as my little nine year old legs would carry me. My normally braided chocolate hair had come undone and was flying behind me. A few strands stuck to the sweat peppering my face, to my mouth, and even the blood that covered my arms and clothing, yet I paid that no mind. My hands were clutched to my chest, a small fur blanket in my fists. My almost black eyes were scanning my surroundings, taking in every inch of forest. Trees towered over me, their trunks as wide as the monsters and higher than I could ever measure. Most would think these trees would be great places to hide, but I knew better. I knew what liked to hide among the trees. After all, I had grown up amongst the roots of an exceptionally large tree yet still managed to be found.

My breath escaped my mouth in gasping pants, my legs screamed for mercy. However I didn't stop. I couldn't stop. To stop would mean the earth shaking footsteps that followed me would get me. They had already devoured my entire clan in one go. I also knew that even if these footsteps didn't get me, the three following it would.

Hope blossomed in my chest as I noticed a very large knot in the base of a tree. Sap oozed from a whole torn in the center. This was perfect. It not only hid my body, but it also hid my scent. My pursuers would have hunted me anywhere I hid, except here.

I altered my course swiftly, almost falling by the sharpness of my turn. I regained my balance and continued to book it. I could make it just a little bit farther. I wouldn't die this close to a reprieve. I would press on, for the sake of my family.

Seconds from my destination, a fist slammed into the ground. It sunk deep, sending chunks of forest floor showering down around me after I lost my balance. I slammed into the ground hard, yet I refused to stop moving. I began pulling myself closer with one arm before I was able to crawl, then stand. I began my sprint again before the monster even had time to bring his second fist down. Just as the second blow connected with the ground a few feet from the opening, I slid inside. It was an extremely small hole, so small a monster could definitely not fit its hand through. I panted hard, my breathing leaving my throat scratchy.

Tears welled up in my eyes as the adrenaline finally wore off. I presses the blanket to my face and began to let the sobs wrack my exhausted body. Depression and realization hit me like a ton of rocks. They were dead. They were all dead, and I had almost died with them.

It had been a fairly normal day, the clan going about its daily work. I was doing deliveries as usual, handing out packages to all the different families. My little brother was by my side, cheekily holding his poor animal pelt blanket a little too hard. The fur had long since been hugged off, yet he refused to give the raggedy thing up. He was too young to technically be doing any work, seeing as he was only three. Yet he liked to tag along with me and hand out the packages I gave him every now and then. Good practice, was my thought process.

In the clan, children didn't work till they were seven. So me, being the 'mature' nine year old I was, was doing my chores. I had been finishing a delivery to an elderly man living by himself when my brother grabbed my skirt. Huge quakes were shaking the earth.

"Sister?" He whispered, terrified. I patted his back, crouching down to his level. I didn't look at him or answer him as I pulled him into a hug. I did this often as a way of soothing him and giving me a chance to think. I peered over his shoulder towards the only natural light that filtered through the roots. Something was casting a shadow over that light. Something big.

Before anyone had a chance to even scream, a huge hand broke through the roots. My eyes widened in horror as the large fingers wrapped themselves around two unsuspecting women. They screamed as they were lifted up, their arms and legs swinging. One of them broke away, but her cries stopped as she fell to the earth. In the stunned silence, I could hear the crack and squelch as she hit the ground. She was dead.

As the woman hit the ground, it awoke the rest of the clan. Women and children alike began screaming and running wild. My arms gripped tighter around my brother as my mouth opened and shut like a fish. I was frozen.

I watched in horror as the giant creature brought the struggling woman closer to its gaping mouth. I almost threw up as I watched the monster bite her body in half. I shoved my brothers head closer to me as I squeezed my eyes shut and buried my head in his little shoulder.

"I'm scared, Bella!" He cried, and his tears began soaking through my shirt. His voice broke me from my stupor and panic began to build up. I had to find mother! They needed to be safe too!

"C'mon, Mark! We need to find mother!" I tugged on him, standing up. Before either of us could even move, something began shaking above us. Dirt rained down on the two of us, and I quickly engulfed my brother again to protect him from the shower. As soon as it started, it was over. The tree, our protection and the roof of our home, was ripped away.

As the dust cleared I opened my eyes and looked around. I couldn't hold down the scream as I looked into the faces of giant monsters. I had heard about them, but never believed they existed till now. And now there were four horrific faces staring down at me.

"We hafta run!" I cried, trying to stand up. I lifted Mark up to help him stand, but he had gone limp.

"Mark?" I whispered, my horror and panic mounting. I screamed again as I saw the odd angle of my brothers neck and the large gash on his forehead.

"No!" I Screamed, clutching him to my chest. Any one but my brother! Large tears filled my eyes and a sob escaped me. How had it all come to this? How had my life been ruined in a matter of seconds?

After a few moments of agonizing grief I managed to somewhat get my senses about me again. The culprit for my brother's death, a large rock, lay a ways away. I looked around, finally noticing the panic of the rest of the clan. There were many crushed, many mangled, and a few were hanging from the monsters mouth. Myself and a dozen others were the only ones left standing. I was currently farthest from the monsters, and a new hole had been created a little way off. I could escape.

My mind reeled as my arms tightened around my brothers shoulders, his skin going cold. I couldn't leave him. Even in death. My tears returned and I let out one last sob into his tiny chest. But how could I escape? He was too big and I too little.

"I'm so sorry!" I wailed, before gently laying him down. I kissed his forehead, closed his eyes, and sat, there for a moment more. "I'll live. For you." I whispered. I finally stood, choking back a sob. His blanket lay not far, and I made a decision. I grabbed the blanket and ran. I would survive. For him. For everyone.

I opened my eyes as I saw a long monster finger trying to squirm into my hideout. I squeaked, my sobbing stopping abruptly. I wiped my face on the blanket, scooting farther back into the hollow. It wasn't very big, but it would hopefully protect me till the monster lost interest. The finger scrabbled around a little more, the ground shaking as one of the other monsters moved. My guess was they were all kneeling towards my hole.

"How had it all come to this?" I whispered to myself, pulling my knees to my chest. I looked down at my hands aa they held my brother's prized possession. They were shaking violently and blood from the attack covered them. I was positive the rest of my body looked the same. My brothers blood covered my shoulder and chest where his head had rested. I had tried bringing him with me, I had. But I was too weak. All I had managed was this mangled and tagged blanket.

I was cold. So very cold. And hungry. I wrapped the blanket as best I could around my self before laying down on my side. Mt back was pressed against the wall and my head facing the opening. My adrenaline had drained me, and so, on an empty stomach, I managed to drift into a fitful sleep where the horrors of today played over and over again. I knew this was only the beginning of a lifetime of sleepiness nights. However, tomorrow would prove how long my lifetime would be.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

A strange noise pulled me from my nightmare and back to reality. My tiny hollow stunk of sap and my hair and clothing was now matted not only with blood but also with the gooey substance. My body wanted to jerk upright, but it screamed in protest. Last night I had not noticed the pain lacing through my shoulder or the stinging pain from small cuts and large gashes that had gotten sap inside the opened wound. This morning, though, everything was made painfully apparent. Obviously the blow that killed my brother had gotten me too if my throbbing shoulder was anything to go by. Tears sprung up again at the thought. I wiped them away, sniffling. I had wallowed enough last night, I now needed to find a way out. If I continued in this self pity, I would eventually die and all the sacrifices would be in vain. I couldn't do that. Electing to stay down for now, I strained my ears. Had that scream been my imagination?

There was a soft pitter patter of rain as it drizzled outside, but beyond that no sound. As silence continued, my heart thumped faster. It was quiet, too quiet. There was no earth shaking, no animal noises, nothing. That wasn't normal.

With a groan, I realized the only way to get answers was to move. I slowly sat up, cradling my injured arm close to my chest. The blanket around my shoulders slid off and I grabbed it after my head stopped spinning. My legs screamed in protest as I did my best to crawl towards the hole opening, my keepsake tucked between my bad arm and chest. Already sweat beaded my brow. The pain was making it hard to breathe, but I managed. I warily stuck my head out, instantly squinting as my eyes were bombarded by the rain blowing straight info my face. I Blinked a few more times, waiting for them to adjust. At last I was able to look around.

When I had run inside this hiding place, dawn had been falling. Now the sun was overcast and everything was drenched. Water still fell from the sky, pelting the leaves and leaving large puddles. Obviously my pursuers had lost interest and it seemed I was alone. I listened for a few seconds more, and that's when I heard it.

Off in the distance, sounds of a struggle was drifting towards me. The sound was muffled by the rain, but I definitely heard telltale signs of humans, and my eyes widened. There were still humans! I had been told long ago by the clan that we could quite possibly be the last humans left. However, a popular myth was that there was actually a whole huge city left with walls so high not even monsters could touch the top. This was proof! Not of the city, but that I was not alone.

I quickly scrambled from my hiding place and began the best limp-run I could manage. Pain told me to give up, but hope spurred me on. The rain drenched me in moments and mud soaked my fur boots clean through. My small dress was plastered to me in seconds and my brother's blanket was draped over my injured arm in a drenched, limp heap.

The further I trekked into the woods, the louder and scarier the noise of battle became. Soon I could here a strange whirring and thumping noise amidst the shouting of the humans. However, what really made my heart skip a beat was the closer I drew, the more the ground shook. These humans were fighting monsters.

My fear was slowly rising up, telling me to forget pain and hope. I needed to get far away. Far away before I saw more humans slaughtered by these hellish creatures. Surprisingly, however, I was curious. Curious as to what had possessed these dimwitted humans to come anywhere near the monsters. Didn't they know what damage they could do? Were they not raised to fear such grotesque creatures that ate humanity for sport?

So, pushing down all other emotions, I inched closer and closer. At long last, I saw them. Well I hadn't exactly seen them, more or less I sensed them. A rush of air passed over me and something zoomed past my I head so fast, I almost lost my balance. I looked up to see a blur of brown and white streaking through tree tops, going at speeds that were hard to follow. As I watched, another blur followed the first.

I took a few dazed steps forward, awed by this display of ability, before I finally saw the real reason I had been terrified. There, emerging from amongst the large trees, was a monster. It was different from last night's monsters. This one appeared bald and fat while the other had been hairy beanpoles. Horses galloped around its feet and men on strange devices zoomed above it. Two men were yelling in a language foreign to me, but I could guess the orders being issued. Kill the monster. I watched amazed as a man performed a maneuver with dizzying speeds before slicing through the monsters neck. Its head jerked back before the monster collapsed, dead.

I Inhaled in amazement, stars dancing in my eyes. These people were amazing! They were far more advanced than the clan could ever hope to be, and fearless too! Where had they been when my family was being massacred before me? My mind went dark and my smile disappeared. They were too late.

"Daredesuka?" (A/N: according to Google this is the ride way to say who is it in Japanese) A gruff voice questioned me, startling me. I backed up a few steps as I looked up into piercing blue eyes. I froze, my mind gone numb. The man before me was intimidating with his strange, thick eyebrows and blonde hair slicked to the side. He was tall and broad shouldered, his hands resting on the handle of two swords that rested in the biggest, strangest sheath I had ever seen.

"Kotaero!" (A/N: Google says the rude way a male would say answer me) He demanded, his words foreign to me.

My mouth opened and shut a few times, but no words escaped my mouth. I was petrified. I tried to take a step back, but my already weak legs gave out and I collapsed with a shout and then a cry of pain as I flung my injured arm out to brace myself. I quickly rolled to my other side, gripping my arm and trying not to cry.

I heard an exasperated sigh as the man knelt beside me. I expected him to do anything else but pick me up. He put an arm under my legs and another gently supported my back. He had also managed to grab my brothers blanket and drape it over his shoulder. My eyes widened as I looked up at him, his intimidating look gone. Now it was a look of curiosity and determination.

"T-thank you." I whispered to him, laying my head on his chest. His muscles all tightened up and I could feel his accelerated heartbeat through the fabric of his shirt.

He didn't answer me and I didn't bother trying to talk. We both probably now knew that we did not speak the same language. I closed my eyes and lost myself in thought, trying to finally get my bearings around me. After all, I could afford a moment now. This man would hopefully Help me. He would hopefully help me to Understand.

Commander Erwin Smith had been expecting to lose men, not gain a little girl. However, the small brunette that resting in his arms was very real. She had almost instantly fallen asleep in his arms, her small head resting against his sternum. Her strange, raggedy blanket seemed burn a whole in his shoulder as he continued to walk on. He had tried getting simple information out of her such as her name, but she had just stared back. She did not seem to speak the common tongue, which further proved his theory that she was not from behind the walls. If the clothing and generally her being outside the walls were anything to go by.

"Commander! The call to with-" Abruptly, whomever had been calling him stopped. Erwin turned to see Jason Gordon staring at him in confusion. "Sir?"

"Casualty update." Erwin demanded, stepping forward. He did not bother to wait and hear his subordinates questions. After all, he barely knew more than Jason did.

Jason shook off his shock and began to follow Erwin back to the war zone. "Over half now, sir." The solemn reply quickly silenced both soldiers. Erwin had known it would be a devastating amount, but the others had hoped things would have gone better. However, when Titans were involved, logic and expectations went out the window.

"How many Titans did we bring down?" Erwin asked, his voice like ice. If he showed emotion, he showed weakness. It was best to be terse with everyone.

"Four, sir." Jason averted his gaze, looking ashamed. A huge group of squadrons had taken down less Titans than the Levi squad did on a regular day. Erwin couldn't hold back the growl. This had been a terrible idea. Smartest thing to do was to send the Levi squad, but no. They had been withheld for some unknown reason by none other than Pixis himself.

"Da-" Erwin started, but the girl shifted in his arms, cutting off his profanity. Her chocolate brown eyes murkily looked up at him. He saw depth behind the child's eyes that was far beyond her years. A depth of pain and understanding that proved this girl was not normal.

"Erwin." She muttered, the word rolled off her tongue strangely.

The captain froze, taking Jason by surprise. The younger soldier stumbled at the sudden stop, trying not to run into Erwin. However, the older blonde didn't notice as he stared at the girl. Her eyes quickly became clear as she realized what had transpired. A look of fear quickly over took her face and her body tensed up.

"How did you know my name?" Erwin asked her, his grip tightening on her. He could tell she was prepared to run, even with her injuries. The captain wasn't letting her get away without answers.

The girl refused to make eye contact as she tried to think of a suitable answer. That's when Erwin also realized she had understood him. Before, she had been completely unresponsive to his questions. He had gathered that she didn't speak the common language, but now he was sure she had been pretending. No one learned a language during a nap.

"Answer me. Now." Erwin demanded, 'accidentally' adding pressure to her injured arm.

She yelped, flinching against his chest and grabbing a fistful of blanket. "I Understood you." She vaguely explained. Erwin noticed the strange accent her words carried, almost as if this tongue was new and unfamiliar to her.

Erwin, unsatisfied with that response pressed harder. "Stop!" She begged, now pressing herself against Erwin.

"What do you mean you understood me?" He asked none to kindly.

The girl seemed surprised by his question. She momentarily forgot about her predicament and Erwin could practically see the wheels turning in her head.

"I listened to your heart." She offered meekly. "Then I Understood you."

Tired of this game, Erwin growled and dropped the girl. She shouted, surprised, taking the blanket with her. The set fabric snapped as it was swiftly pulled off his shoulder, sending a spray of droplets in Erwin's face. Quickly her surprised turned to gasps of pain.

"Sir!" Jason exclaimed, rushing to the child. The girl backed away from both men warily, a few tears sliding down her cheek. "Is this truly the right way to handle things?"

Erwin turned his venomous glare on his subordinate, causing him to shrink back. Jason adverted his eyes, backing away from the girl. "I will not risk taking someone into the walls that could potentially endanger the inhabitants we all work so hard to protect."

"But she is just a little girl! What harm could she do?" Jason dared, trying to return the captain's stern tone of voice. However, his wavered and shook, sounding weak.

Erwin narrowed his eyes, barely sending a quick glance to the girl. Her long hair now hung in front of her face, the matted strands making an effective barrier. If either men had been able to see her face, they'd see her eyes practically sparkling with unshed tears. Surprisingly, they were not tears of pain. No, this girl was angry. Furious even. She had survived the attack on her home, yet these men just wanted to toss her aside! She was a human, and just because they did not seem to Understand as she did, they were going to abandon her to the mercy of the monsters.

"Fine." She muttered, her voice thick with emotion. Despair, anger, fear, and uncertainty had begun to bubble up inside the girl. Erwin was slightly surprised by her sudden change in demeanor, but this did not change his mind. He would not bring a girl behind the walls that already knew far too much about him.

"I only know that your name is Erwin Smith, you are in the military, and that you are tied of feeling like a caged animal." The girl glowered. Her voice started off uncertain and slow with her words, but as she progressed her speech, it became faster and angrier.

Erwin returned her venomous look, still not trusting. However, his mind a racing. How had she found out that much? That little bit of information was as vital as her knowing everything.

"What is your name?" Jason asked the girl, trying to decide the situation. The troops needed them and sitting here glaring at a little girl was not going to accomplish that.

The girls chocolate gaze of death turned to him, but it softened once she was his honest look of concern.

"My name is Belladonna Louise."


End file.
